You know you’re thirty when____.

I’ve been paying attention to my language and action a lot lately. Why? To see if I’m exhibiting signs of my age. Sadly, I noticed a change beginning when I was 29. My daily priorities were changing. My crazy nights out were being swapped for early bed times and rested mornings. The filters by which I make decisions through were drastically changing. No longer did I want the “reformed bad boy.” Time for stability!

I don’t want to admit it but I was exhibiting symptoms well before I officially turned thirty. Here’s a few of the signs I noticed that really solidified my entrance in to this lovely decade.

  1. It’s a Saturday night. I’m with my boyfriend, not my girlfriends, watching a movie on the couch, eating a slice of thin crust, vegetarian pizza (because it’s less calories), talking about how much of a treat this is, and sober.
  2. Every, and I mean every single weekend, is filled with one of the following: bachelorette party, engagement party, wedding, baby shower, housewarming, or birthday party.
  3. My social network stream used to be filled with photos of my hot girlfriends and I in great outfits having crazy nights out on the town. Now it’s filled with more photos of babies and toddlers than a daycare center, new homes, inspirational quotes and #healthyeats food from the #fitfam.
  4. When asked what I’m bringing to drink for the next game night – yes, that’s my new “night out” with friends – I say, “Locally brewed dark Hefeweizen.”
  5. The rare moment that I find myself at a bar past 11pm, I pray that I get carded and relish in statements like, “You are thirty?! You look like you’re 24 at the most!” $10 tip on one beer for that guy!
  6. My last blog post talked about the movie Rebel Without a Cause. Which group of people did I find myself siding with the most? Yep, the parents. Insert rolling eyes disgusted face. Oh wait, that trend is gone now. Crap, there’s another “I’m thirty” moment.
  7. Vacationing in my twenties involved researching the cheapest hostels, cram 4-7 girls in a room and bring enough PowerBars to get us through the daytime meals so we could have dinner out each day. What happens now? Let me get on my account, see how many points I’ve accrued, look for the most comfortable hotel for 1-2 people in proximity to a great restaurant. Sold!
  8. My Dyson vacuum cleaner gives me more joy and excitement than I know what to do with.
  9. Even my email address grew up to my actual name. P.S. if yours doesn’t actually say your name, please change it. Just a tip 😉 Shoot, I did it again.
  10. I no longer feel an immense amount of discomfort and unknowing when talking about marriage, babies, mortgages, Roth IRA and 401K. The fact that they’re happening within the next five years also doesn’t immediately make me want to jump out of a moving car.
  11. I see kids in their twenties – Yep, I just referred to people in their twenties as kids – with all that confusion over who they are and where they’re going, blinking like neon yellow sign and feel pity for them and a great sense of relief myself to be my age and where I am in life.
  12. Watching the Breakfast Club and This is 40. and instantly feel This is 40. is way closer to my real life now.
  13. Classic rock stations are playing some of my teen favorites from Nirvana and Pearl Jam.

What are some of your, “Holy crap, I’m really thirty!” moments?


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